What is domestic abuse?

Being in a relationship should be a positive experience but domestic abuse can happen to anyone at any point and even after a relationship has broken down.

Trigger Warning: The following content discusses topics of Domestic abuse. If you find these topics distressing, please reach out to your Student Support services.

Domestic abuse is any kind of controlling, threatening or violent behaviour between people who are (or were) in a close relationship.

This abuse can also happen between family members.

If you feel like you need to change how you act because you’re scared of how your partner will react, that’s a sign of domestic abuse.

The abuse can include and is not limited to:

Physical abuse
Emotional abuse
Psychological abuse
Sexual abuse
Financial abuse

Stalking behaviour can also be a form of domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, gender, religion, sexual orientation or ethnicity. It can happen at any point, even if the people involved have broken up.

Domestic abuse is a serious crime, and it is never the victim’s fault.

Being in a relationship should be a positive experience, sometimes it’s not easy to tell when things have turned harmful. To help identify possible abuse, learn about the warning signs and see if the statements resonate with you.

Know the signs of domestic abuse

They threaten me or do things that make me feel scared
They put me down to make me feel bad
They push me to do things I'm not comfortable with
They hit, slap, push or kick me
They make me feel bad if I don’t spend all my time with them
They tell me what to wear, who to see, where to go and what to think
They are not interested in getting along with my friends or family
They isolate me from my friends and family
They pressure me into sexual activity I don’t want to do
They check through my phone, social media and internet history
They need to know my whereabouts at all times
They accuse me of cheating on them
They steal my things or force me to buy them things
They threaten to hurt me or others I care about

Questions to ask yourself

Are you constantly second-guessing your own choices?
Do you feel like you're always doing something wrong?
Are you living under constant stress?
Are you worried about how your partner will react to things?
Do you avoid hanging out with friends to prevent conflicts with your partner?
Have you started to ignore your own opinions to agree with your partner?
Is your emotional well-being suffering?

There is no excuse for abuse. Even if it doesn’t happen very often – it's still abuse.

If you recognise any of the warning signs in your relationship, there are people who can listen and help you with your next steps.

You may not feel able to end the relationship, but it’s important to seek help as the abuse is unlikely to stop on it’s own.

You will be taken seriously, and you will be believed. If you think you have experienced domestic abuse, then we encourage you to seek support safely.

Where to get support

If you feel like there is an immediate danger or threat to life, please call the emergency services on 999.

Report + Support

If you would like to report something to City, you can use our online reporting platform, Report + Support.

Report + Support makes it easier to confidentially report a wide range of issues so that we can best support you.

Use this tool to report a concern, an incident that occurred, or to make a disclosure about your own or someone else's safety and well-being.

Report a concern or incident

University support

A wide range of support services are also available to students at City.

External support

Victim Support - a 24/7 charity service dedicated to offering specialist and free support to victims of crime in England. Even if you haven’t reported the crime, you can still get support.
Refuge - a 24/7 helpline providing support to women and children who are victims of domestic abuse.
National Domestic Violence Helpline - a 24/7 helpline providing support to women subjected to domestic violence.
Women’s Aid - a 24/7 helpline for female victims of domestic violence.
Mankind - a specialist support service for male victims of domestic violence.
Galop - an anti-violence charity offering emotional and practical support for LGBT+ victims of sexual violence, hate crime or domestic abuse.

Local external support

Ashiana Project - provides temporary, safe housing for South Asian, Turkish and Middle Eastern women between the ages of 16-35 who are experiencing domestic abuse.
Cassandra Centre - a London-based charity offering support and counselling to young people who have experienced domestic abuse. Helping to raise awareness, identify and tackle domestic and sexual abuse in relationships.
Iranian and Kurdish Women's Rights Organisation - provides support including advice, counselling and refuge to Middle Eastern, North African and Afghan women living in the UK who have experienced or are at risk of domestic abuse.
Muslim Women's Network Helpline - a national specialist, faith and culturally-sensitive helpline and counselling service that is confidential. Offering support, information, guidance and referrals.
Southall Black Sisters - provides information, advice, advocacy, counselling and support to Black and minoritised (including migrant) women experiencing domestic abuse.

Please see our Additional Student Support services page for a complete list.

Reporting to local authorities

You can report a crime to the Police by calling 101 (non-emergency number) or on the Metropolitan Police website. You can also reach out to Crimestoppers, a 24/7 independent charity service that allows you to report crimes anonymously.